Lessons of An Eight Year Old

It’s been a BIG, CRAZY week, especially for my 8 year old daughter.  She’s learned a lot of lessons the hard way.  On Wednesday, I received a call from her principal, who was chuckling as he informed me that she beat up a boy because he was being mean to her friends.  She had to stay in for recess the rest of the week.  Now, the “good mom” in me chided her.  But I also wanted to shout with praise, “That’s my GIRL!”  J 

On Thursday, I left home early to go to The Learning Place before my evening class.  I was gone for seven hours.  As I walk in the door, my husband says to me, “The dog is gone, Maddy needs stitches and I might get laid off.”  I almost had a heart attack, but the mother-bear instinct in me took over and I flew up the stairs to check on my daughter.  She was incoherent so we waited until morning, when she got 10 sutures.  She’s a little monkey and I’m surprised she hasn’t needed stitches before this.  She decided to climb on the kitchen counter to check on the plants on the windowsill.  Years of yelling at her not to climb on the counter, and I think she finally learned her lesson. 

The dog is still gone, he ran away, and I’d like ten minutes alone in a room with Mr. Scott Walker. 

Doe-doe the Bird

A few years ago, my daughter begged for a pet parakeet.  My grandparents had a pair of parakeets for years.  The birds were a source of amusement for them, so I caved.  We picked out a pretty little bird, bought a new cage and she named him “Doe-Doe.”  Doe-doe the bird. 

Maddy held the bird all the time.  She would put it in her Barbie house, wrap it in a blanket like a baby, or push it on the swing… the fun never ended.  Maddy would set the bird on the table while she was eating, and command, “now SIT!”  The bird would listen to her!  He hated the rest of us, mind you.  He would bite everyone but Maddy.  It started getting ridiculous; only Maddy could feed him, etc.  She started giving us problems - she would sneak out of bed at night, get the bird out of its cage and SLEEP with it!  I was so worried the cat would get a hold of it!  Mornings started to get really hard, she didn’t want to go to school, because she wanted to be with her bird! 

One day, Maddy and I went on a shopping trip.  We’re in the middle of an aisle when I hear a “chirp!”  I’m thinking I’m going nuts when I look at Maddy, and she’s talking into her purse.  I rush over, take a look, and there sits the bird, in her purse, in the middle of the store. 

Doe-doe took a vacation over to grandma’s house, to give mom a break.  The morning I took him to grandma’s, we had pancakes for breakfast.  Naturally, Doe-doe was full of syrup.  I ran him under some warm water, his beak digging into my hand the entire time, and my grandmother yelling, “You can’t give a bird a bath!”  I asked, “Well, what else do you suggest I do?!”  I put him back in his cage, on the back porch, in the sun to dry and stay warm.  Grandma calls me later that day with the news; Doe-doe didn’t make it.  Guess you’re not supposed to give a bird a bath.

My Favorite Ring

About 12 years ago, I worked at a restaurant in Wauwatosa.  One night, I was running late for work and grabbed the wrong work shirt.  I was sent to the manager’s office to be written up and sent home.  While the manager was chastising me, a man I’ve never seen before stood up from a desk in the back of the room and unbuttoned his shirt.  He said it was the end of his shift and handed me his shirt.  A few weeks later, he asked me out on a date.  He took me out to dinner and a movie.  Later, we walked on the beach, where I lost my favorite ring in the sand.  11 years ago today, he took me back to that beach to replace my favorite ring, and ask me to be his wife. 

The American Dream

                Throughout the world, Americans are held to high standards.  America is a country where, according to James Adams, “life should be better, richer and fuller for everyone, with opportunity for each according to ability or achievement,” regardless of social class.  When did Americans turn this simple statement, known as “The American Dream,” into a pressure to compete in order to become successful?    The “American Dream” now includes advanced education, an impressive financial portfolio and a high social status.  While “The American Dream” is a great ideal and an awesome goal, when are high standards high enough?

                Forty years ago, education was not always deemed necessary.  Now, a high school diploma simply is not enough to support a family.  A college degree is required if you want to succeed financially and compete in this ever-changing society.  Even when a BA is earned, advanced education is strongly encouraged.  I believe learning is a never ending process, but today, it’s hard to find an expert in one field of study.  Instead, people are learning a little about a lot in their field.  Competing academically can be inspiring and can drive a person to succeed, but when is enough education simply enough?                 

                American’s are also expected to “keep up with the Jones’” so to speak.  Buying a nice home in a nice neighborhood simply isn’t enough.  It’s expected you update the house to keep the neighborhood desirable as are additions to the home to retain or add to its value.  Not many individuals earn a six figure income, yet we feel forced to spend as though we do.  In order to do so, we don’t live within our means, instead use credit cards and ruin our credit scores.  In a society that values a high credit score, which many times is used to determine a person’s fiscal responsibility and employment considerations, this behavior can be detrimental.   

                In a society that values material objects, we tend to judge other members on their physical appearance.  While owning name brand clothes is encouraged, in order to wear them you’re required to be physically fit.  Most fashion designers don’t make clothes for the “plus size” individual.  While stressing out about academics and finances, we’re also expected to work out and eat healthy every day, visit a salon for the newest hairstyle and rip hair out of pores on a regular basis.  If you are overweight, a smoker, suffer from acne or the like, society deems you lazy with no self control. 

                I believe Americans are encouraged to compete, in general, over the wrong things and this is counterproductive.  While we’re working so hard at making insurmountable amounts of money or trying to gain respect from society, who is spending quality time with our children?  Imagine living in a world with people that, instead, compete to succeed in world peace, with strong family values. 

~Amanda Fellows