It's that time of year again! Wonderful Parties and Memorable Arguments

It’s that time of year again!  Time for friends and family to gather for festive meals, wonderful parties… and memorable arguments.

I began writing and researching this a few months ago, but recently spent a very memorable (see pun above) day with the in-laws…

How to behave at a family soirée

1.  First things first - Today, no one has to work.  No one wants to talk about work. 

2.  Do you have dietary restrictions?  I’m sorry.  But please… keep it to yourself.  If you can't eat what normal people eat, then bring your own food.  Making demands or a scene scene about the menu is plain-old-selfish.

3.  Don't blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol.  Just don't drink.  Everyone is uncomfortable.  Most would like to throw back a bottle of Jack to get through the event. 

But…  Don’t.  Do.  It.

4.  Papa… don’t preach.  No one wants a lecture.  We all know our own faults.  It’s a holiday party. No one came to be fixed, changed, or converted.  This is not the time nor the place to try.

5.  Be Social.  Which means… let others talk.  Encourage this by asking questions that allow others to talk about themselves.

6.  Are you an expert?  Regardless of how much you know… learn to L-I-S-T-E-N.  (See #5)

7.  I’m sorry - I didn’t realize this was a competition!  Why do you need all of the attention?  Avoid trying to tell a better story or joke. 

8.  I’m polite… why aren’t you?  Avoid the 3-C’s:  Correcting, Criticizing, or Complaining. 

9.  Why waste the energy on lying?  Besides, it's offensive.  And, the truth always comes out in the end.

10.  Remember:  It’s always a bad idea to start an argument.  If someone else starts one… kindly deviate the conversation or find an excuse to walk away.   

Overall…. BEHAVE!

Remember:

People respect those who manage themselves.

Appreciation is a gift that lasts a lifetime

People are attracted to warmth

Phenomenal woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

- Maya Angelou

The Big Wheel

In September 1960, I woke up one morning with six hungry babies and just 75 cents in my pocket. Their father was gone. The boys ranged from three months to seven years; their sister was two. Their Dad had never been much more than a presence they feared.

Whenever they heard his tires crunch on the gravel driveway they would scramble to hide under their beds.

He did manage to leave $15 a week to buy groceries.

Now that he had decided to leave, there would be no more beatings, but no food either.

If there was a welfare system in effect in southern Indiana at that time, I certainly knew nothing about it. I scrubbed the kids until they looked brand new and then put on my best homemade dress, loaded them into the rusty old 51 Chevy and drove off to find a job.

The seven of us went to every factory, store and restaurant in our small town. No luck.

The kids stayed crammed into the car and tried to be quiet while I tried to convince whoever would listen that I was willing to learn or do anything. I had to have a job.

Still no luck. The last place we went to, just a few miles out of town was an old Root Beer Barrel drive-in that had been converted to a truck stop. It was called the Big Wheel.

An old lady named Granny owned the place and she peeked out of the window from time to time at all those kids. She needed someone on the graveyard shift, 11 at night until seven in the morning. She paid 65 cents an hour, and I could start that night. I raced home and called the
teenager down the street that baby-sat for people. I bargained with her to come and sleep on my sofa for a dollar a night. She could arrive with her pajamas on and the kids would already be asleep. This seemed like a good arrangement to her, so we made a deal.

That night when the little ones and I knelt to say our prayers, we all thanked God for finding Mommy a job. And so I started at the Big Wheel.

When I got home in the mornings I woke the baby-sitter up and sent her home with one dollar of my tip money--fully half of what I averaged every night. As the weeks went by, heating bills added a strain to my meager wage.

The tires on the old Chevy had the consistency of penny balloons and began to leak. I had to fill them with air on the way to work and again every morning before I could go home.

One bleak fall morning, I dragged myself to the car to go home and found four tires in the back seat. New tires! There was no note, no nothing, just those beautiful brand new tires. Had angels taken up residence in Indiana? I wondered.

I made a deal with the local service station. In exchange for his mounting the new tires, I would clean up his office. I remember it took me a lot longer to scrub his floor than it did for him to do the tires. I was now working six nights instead of five and it still wasn't enough. Christmas was coming and I knew there would be no money for toys for the kids.

I found a can of red paint and started repairing and painting some old toys, then hid them in the basement so there would be something for Santa to deliver on Christmas morning. Clothes were a worry too. I was sewing patches on top of patches on the boys pants and soon they would
be too far gone to repair.

On Christmas Eve the usual customers were drinking coffee in the Big Wheel. These were the truckers, Les, Frank, and Jim, and a state trooper named Joe.

A few musicians were hanging around after a gig at the Legion and were dropping nickels in the pinball machine. The regulars all just sat around and talked through the wee hours of the morning and then left to get home before the sun came up.

When it was time for me to go home at seven o'clock on Christmas morning, to my amazement, my old battered Chevy was filled full to the top with boxes of all shapes and sizes. I quickly opened the driver's side door, crawled inside and knee led in the front facing the back seat.

Reaching back, I pulled off the lid of the top box. Inside was whole case of little blue jeans, sizes 2-10! I looked inside another box: It was full of shirts to go with the jeans. Then I peeked inside some of the other boxes. ; There was candy and nuts and bananas and bags of
groceries. There was an enormous ham for baking, and canned vegetables and potatoes.
There was pudding and Jell-O and cookies, pie filling and flour. There was hole bag of laundry supplies and cleaning items. And there were five toy trucks and one beautiful little doll.

As I drove back through empty streets as the sun slowly rose on the most amazing Christmas Day of my life, I was sobbing with gratitude. And I will never forget the joy on the faces of my little ones that precious morning.

Yes, there were angels in Indiana that long-ago December. And they all hung out at the Big Wheel truck stop....

-anonymous

Humility

I want to keep religion and politics out of my blog as much as possible.  Sometimes there are such great messages that I just have to share!  At our congregation this morning, the topic was humility.  Humility.  Humble.  What a great reminder - and for me it came at just the right time - before I spend money that we really don’t have on hardwood floors, landscaping and furniture for the new house.  For what?  To keep up with the Jones’?  So I can have a showcase of a house when we entertain? 

The message was more religious than what I am blogging about, but it really did humble me, in more ways than one.  So many people out there, including us, are caught up in the daily grind.  We have bills to pay, obligations to fulfill, a family to provide for.  Do we ever take a minute (I mean REALLY take the time) to take a deep breath, look around and enjoy our lives?  I know I don’t.  I have to remind myself and even then I tend to forget.  I have a million things on my mind, so when I want to relax (and when I say relax, I mean turn my brain off) I grab a book and get in the tub.  When was the last time I took a walk around the block, sat on my porch or listened to the beautiful sound of my children laughing with their friends?  Take some time out this week.  Take time out to have a real conversation.  Take the time to look around.  Take time out to breathe deep, take stock… thank God for the blessings in your life and the beauty all around you.

Which leads me to the next topic I want to touch on today… God. 

Most of us were brought up being told who God is, not asking any questions.  I never realized this about myself until the day my son was born.  What an incredible, amazing day.   You never know how you’re going to feel that day no matter how much advice you receive or how many books you read… I sure wasn’t prepared for the emotions that flooded my heart that day, nor will I ever forget.  Not only was I amazed by this little body lying in my arms but suddenly I was humbled by the presence of God’s work.  One of my first thoughts was, “Look at this!  Look at this baby!  Nine months!  Nine short months and then there’s this little person… and everything works!  Every tiny little blood vessel, every nerve are connected the way they are supposed to be, in just the right way… and everything works!  It just… works!”  For days afterwards I cried and cried in admiration and gratefulness.  I know what I said and thought sounds a little dumb, but that was the day that my journey to find a relationship with God began.  God is the only being that can be given credit for this astounding, incomprehensible miracle!  Scientists can try to figure it out all they want, but no one will ever be able to explain this to me… Nine months.  Nine short months, and a tiny human is born, with everything it needs for the rest of its life.  Incredible.

Some people don’t believe in God.  Some close to me don’t believe in God… I’m thinking they just haven’t had that life experience quite yet, the one that smacks them in the head, like the one I had when my son was born.  I have a friend that grew up with missionary parents.  He’s been to every remote area in the world, spreading God’s word.  He’s told me some stories, but one really stuck with me…  In some areas of the world, there are people that live strictly on the land.  They have no clothes, let alone books or a school.  He and his family would wind up in a small village like this and there would be hundreds of people who have walked for days to meet these missionaries.  When they arrive, the group starts shouting, “Tell us about God!  Tell us about God!”  He questioned his parents… “How do they know about God?”  His parents put their hands to their hearts, “In here, son. ‘ God is love.  Everyone who loves is begotten by God and knows God.’” 1 John 4:7

Maybe there is such a thing as too much information… Maybe we just have to get back to the basics.  Stop, take a look around, and listen… really listen… to your heart, where the truth lies.

What a beautiful Sunday.

One Tired Mama!

So I get up this morning and dinner from last night is GONE!  Guess it was good :)

Morning ritual, as usual... and Miss Maddy, my 8 year old can't find her shoes - BIG drama in this house! 

We finally get in the car, I drop them at school and run over to the post office... but it doesn't open for another 45 minutes, so I tweeze my eyebrows then make a list for the day...
DMV
Oil Change
Sell Antiques
Habitat Restore - Buy: Blinds, curtain rods, shutters
Hobby Lobby - Buy:  Pulls for kitchen
Ace Hardware - Returns
Grocery Store - finish buying food for this week's menu
Stein's - use $5 gift card and that's all... only the $5 gift card

1/2 hour wait to go when a boutique on the corner opens.  I'm in ripped jeans and a ratty old sweatshirt but would rather walk around an upscale clothing store than sit in the car  - so naturally, I walk down the block and go in.  At 11:00 a.m. (yes, almost 2 hours later) I walk back out of the boutique, arms loaded with goodies and am the best dressed person in line at the post office ;)

Next up - The home consignment shop to sell some antiques - gone are another 2 hours, browsing and chatting with the owner.  Instead of walking out with cash, I walk out with more loot - see a pattern here?!  I rationalize these purchases... an antique decorative sailboat for my son's room, an antique cupboard for the kitchen, and a cool black shelf --> though I don't know where exactly this will go, It'll find a home on one of my walls soon enough ;) 

Okay... Habitat Restore... but on the way, I have to stop at the cool little shops on the same block... fun, oh fun!  Very proud of myself... I didn't buy anything!
So, Habitat Restore... they have everything except the blinds.  BUT... I need my husband to make the final decision on the shutters... we'll come back over the weekend.  He'll be so pleased.

Ace Hardware won't return my purchases, even though I have a receipt, because apparently each Ace is privately owned...
"But... I bought this stuff five hours North of here," I say. 
Too bad.   

It's 3:15 p.m.  Time to go get the kids.  They get in the car and I give them a choice: 
"Hobby Lobby and the DMV, or Stein's and the grocery store?"  I ask. 
"Home!"  shouts Nick.
"Hobby Lobby" shouts Maddy. 
Great, I think.  "Home isn't an option, we have to do a few things first.  Since we're on this side of town, we'll go to Stein's and then the grocery store, where you can each pick out a snack." 
Unanimous "Yay's" and we're off.

Stein's is great... We all love Stein's.  Miss Maddy drags us to the pond section where she drools over the large plastic ponds and dreams about how many frogs she can catch and keep in the backyard.  I notice that they're 50% off and make a mental note to tell Jason so he can come buy one before they're all gone.
I pick up a rosemary plant and a basil plant, pay with my $5.00 gift card and 27 cents I dig from the bottom of my purse.  Not bad... Not bad at all!

The grocery store is next.  List in hand, reusable bags on my arm and ready to tackle the job.  Jason always thinks I'm nuts, taking the kids with me to shop.
 I run into 2 different friends and chat a while. (Thank God I went into that boutique this morning!)
Instead of making dinner, I buy premade panini's, seven layer salad and a bag of chips. 
Miss Maddy finds a toy in one of the aisles that makes an obnoxious farting noise and insists on playing with the stupid thing throughout the store.  Nick finally takes it from her and throws it on top of the dairy freezers.  (Thank you, Nick!)

As we check out, I'm informed that I need a "new" savings card and it will "only take a minute."  A lady swipes my "old" savings card, asks for my phone number and swipes the "new" card.  Only, the new card doesn't work.  She does it again.  And again.  And again.  Seriously, she does this about 25 times - enough times that she now knows my phone number by heart and the guy in line behind me says "I thought you said this would only take a minute."  Yeesh!  Note to self:  Never sign up for the "new" card.

Cart packed, kids in tow and in the parking lot when I notice Maddy with a bag of suckers. 
"Where'd you get that?!"  I demand
"From the bank."  she replies innocently - Just as the box of panini's falls from the cart and "SPLAT!" all over the concrete.  Damn. 
Suckers for dinner.

I start to unpack the car, hiding my new clothes from the hubby when he literally drools over the antique sailboat.  Jason and Nick disappear, with the faint sound of Jason's voice describing the miniature pieces of the boat to Nick.  Guess it was a cooler find than I thought!

Leftovers and seven layer salad for supper.  I'm beat.  So tired that I don't even want to eat.  So I start to clean up and Jason takes the lead on homework.  Whew - Thank you Jason!  I really don't want to deal with homework tonight!

After cleaning up dinner dishes, I come downstairs to find Nick doing his math homework with a calculator.  He knows better.  Until he can tell me what 9*8 equals from memory, no calculators.  Period.  I don't care what the teacher says. 
"But mom, I have to find the square root of 2,500," he whines.
What?!  I think to myself.  Seriously?  Assuming he's joking, I snatch the worksheet from him and sure-shit...  He has to find the frickin square root of 2,500... and the directions say to use a calculator. 
So I give him a lecture about how it would be easier to find the factors of 50 (on the other side of the worksheet) if he memorized his multiplication chart, and leave it at that, reminding myself to lock up the calculator.

And that's my day. 

Sucker's... and the square root of 2,500.  (Which is 50, btw)

And So It Begins...

Boy, Oh Boy!  How exciting I sound!

Today began like every other weekday... My morning ritual = computer time until coffee makes me human again... Wake the kids, get them ready and take them to school...  all the while listening to my 8 year old daughter complain about not wanting to go to school, not wanting to wear this or that, not wanting to take that for snack.  Then there's my 10 year old son smoking us out of the house with his Axe and shouting at his sister to HURRY UP!

But today, after dropping the kids off, I ran errands for a few hours, came home and then I HAD to take a nap - (the flu is going around and kickin my butt!) Of course, the kids go back to school and I get the flu... this makes sense in my world ;)

Then I pick the kids up from school... Today I was able to suprise them with treats from my excursions... Silly bands and a beta fish for each!   (Yes, my kids are spoiled... I admit it, but they are so darn sweet!)  But, I have to be honest... the fish are really for me.  I have these two really great candle sconces Jason bought me years ago that I hung above the bar... I thought it would be a cool decoration/talk piece for when we entertain: "Hey, look!  There are fish in the candle holders!" Ha, ha.  But at the same time, they have to take care of their fish... responsibility, right?!  2 birds - 1 stone... or, more appropriately, 2 fish.

For dinner tonight?
Chicken Savoy - A yummy roasted chicken laced with garlic, herbs, and red wine vinegar
Roasted Potato Fans
Asparagus with garlic, herbs and vinigerette

The kids played outside for an hour after school.  I don't really trust them (or their friends) mostly because I remember what I was thinking when I was 10... so I make them stick around our house.  The backyard is always full of screaming children.  Which is okay - that's how I like it  - I just feel sorry for the neighbors :)

When it's time to come in, it's race-the-clock as usual!  Do homework, sign papers, answer 100 questions, quiz spelling words, supervise chores... all while making dinner.
I was prepared for everything to be ready and on the dinner table at 7:30 until Jason informs me at 6:30 that he has a leader's meeting at 7:00 (He's a Den Leader for the Cub Scouts.) Great! So, it's just the 3 of us for supper. It still turned out well - there is PLENTY left over, so I put it in the oven for Jason when he gets home.

It's 8:00 and I'm done.  Goodnight to all.  I'm taking the kids to my bed, pop in a movie and falling asleep!

The "Housewife's" Age-Old Question...

I've been thinking the age old question every housewife asks herself every September...

What AM I supposed to do with my life?

I could...
Get a job - (Monday - Friday, 9a.m. - 3 p.m. only, please. Thank you... Oh yeah, I'll need off everyday my kids don't have school, every summer, every holiday break, sick days, doctor and dental appointments (these may be last minute.) Also, I am never available weeknights, weekends, holidays or be on call) Yeah... right!
Go back to school - (See requirements above, PLUS, no homework, please... I have enough of the kids'.... one hour per child per night. Grrr.)

Volunteer - this sounds nice, but if I wanted to do something for nothing, I'd find the time to do that something for myself. Selfish, I know...

And then there are my personal goals...

I want to:
Get my private pilot's license
Finish the novel I wrote in 2007 and get published
Own a small, yet successful and fulfilling business
Travel. Travel, travel, travel!!!
Craft something worth selling
Build (and maintain) a greenhouse
Throw one hell of a Gala
For once, finish what I've started
Make a difference

I should:
Budget better (Time, and money)
Quit smoking
Quit cussing
Lose weight and work-out

Now for the harder, life-long goals...

I want to raise my children into healthy, happy, intelligent, thoughtful, joyous, thankful adults! (No small feat!)

I want to raise them in a healthy, happy, joyous, Christian home... where there parents do NO WRONG! (Again, easier said than done...)

Be a wonderful wife, mother, sister, and friend...

Then there are the ones that really don't matter in the grand scheme of things:

Have dinner with Jordan Knight and !Vin Diesel! - on separate evenings, of course!

Become REALLY good at all of the above goals! (Yes, I'm competitive... even with myself:)

With the BIG 3-0 looming, I better get started :)

September... A New Year!

September is here!    The kids go back to school and I am home alone (finally, *sigh*) for a few hours each day. 
September, to me, is like New Years to most everyone else.  September is when I take stock of my life, reflect on the previous year, create new goals and resolutions. 

This "year" I'll be (Thirty... Shhh!)  Oh boy! 

30... 30... 30... My first 30 years...

Really, I'm a very lucky woman... I have the "American Dream." A wonderful husband, 2 great kids, a dog, a cat, and am able to stay at home to raise our family.

I've gone to school for Nursing, Business Management as well as Cosmetology

I've owned a small business in the lodging industry

I've owned an online store
I've tried and succeeded some, but failed... A LOT!

I've learned to LOVE:
God
Gardening
Gourmet cooking
All kinds of crafts & woodworking
Reading
Home Improvement/decorating
Music/Arts

All of these seem like the norm... but really, are no small feat for a girl that wanted to rock the corporate world when she grew up!

Why the Blog???

1st Goal/Resolution of the 2010-2011 year... start a journal.  I feel the need to jot down my thoughts, my ideas...  I want something my kids can read one day, to learn a little bit more about their mom. I've tried this before, on paper - and failed. I'm hoping this blog will be just the motivation I need! 

I'm also thinking that if I write a little about my life everyday, I can somehow figure it out...
For once in my life I have to finish what I start. I hope this blog helps hold me accountable!
And sadly... maybe I need validation?

The goal of my blog, "Jill of All Trades," is to journal every day, for one year... about me... my life.

This should be good ;)

10 Secrets to a Happy Marriage

Ten Secrets to a Happy Marriage
By Anonymous

1. God has you here to serve one another. Love acted out is serving.

2. Women need respect and nurturing. Love your wife so she knows you’d lay your life down for her. Continue to date her and admire her. Share a hobby – find something you can do to have fun together.

3. Laugh often.

4. Be patient. Love crumbles quickly under the weight of unmet expectations.

5. Spend more time trying to fix yourself than your spouse.

6. Keep short accounts. The Bible says, “Don’t let the sun go down while you are angry.” Make it a habit to forgive.

7. Determine up front that divorce is not an option.

8. Learn about love languages. Not all people show love or receive it the same way. You want a back rub and your spouse wants a clean kitchen. The love languages are fairly simple: acts of service, time, physical touch, gifts and words of affirmation. Learn them. Love is better received in the language that person speaks.

9. Words of affirmation are a love language for all men.

10. Men are born to be leaders. He cannot lead unless she gives him the confidence to do so. If you love your husband, build him up. Confident men do not seek love outside the home.

Follow up: Ephesians 5:21-33